Questions and Comfort

 Comfort is a wonderful word reminiscent of an overstuffed recliner upholstered in soft blue fabric in the middle of a warm living room filled with people who love you.  Drowsiness makes my eyes heavy as I breathe in the fragrance of the known and snuggle deeper into the word…comfort. Such peace is found in the comfortable, an understandable peace. But there is a peace that passes understanding and it is found in the questions not the comfort.

I like to think I’m nothing like the Pharisees. After all, I hang out with people the world has despised. Of course the important part of that last sentence is the use of the past tense. These folks have reconciled and been redeemed and live lives now that are beyond reproach. And, even those that haven’t yet reconciled are not that despised.

So we come to the question that comes in the middle of my comfortable chair like a cat pouncing unexpectedly into my lap. Who are the people Jesus would have gone to if He were here today? Who is the church not loving?

My long held beliefs are being challenged. There is no comfort to be found in this light glaring around me. I have despised them too. I have agreed to things that should not have been agreed to because I thought I was holier than they. I too have stood and said “Thank you, Lord that I am not like her”.  In reality, I am like her. I am beloved of the Most High God. I am a sinner saved by grace. I am the delight of my heavenly Father.

My heart aches as I remember the words I have said and the times when my silence was deafening. I see how I have failed to reach out in love to all His sheep. But then, the peace  passes understanding comes.  I see that I really am like her. I am the beloved of the Most High God. I am a sinner saved by grace. Even when  I mess up, He loves me.  He allows me to grow in understanding. He searches my heart and finds the hard places so He can soften them. He creates a comfortable place where I can question. He is the question and the comfort.