The race

  Everything hurts. There doesn't seem to be one place on my physical body that isn't filled with a dull, aching pain. How different this is from the last few days.
A few days ago, nothing hurt. A few days ago, I ran a literal race. My body, though it struggled with breath, moved through the motions and allowed my mind to wander. In my thoughts, I heard time and again that my God is amazing. That each runner in the race was unique and wonderfully made. That each runner was running the race he or she had been assigned. That each of us was on a spiritual path, each at a different point with a different lesson to learn.  During the race, my heart sang praisees.
Now, every joint aches. The memory of that race teases me and I wonder how this body with all its issues had run.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God" Ephesians 2:8 (NIV)
The mystery is that God provided the grace for me to run that race. He created a desire in me to try such a thing. Then, He provided a coach and an opportunity. Then, He held me as I ran. Through His great love, I did something I should not have been able to do.
And, not just me. I saw my friend who prefers to hide step boldly into the spotlight. I saw her proclaim God's love in boldness.
And, not just her. I saw a student leave behind her sorrow and dance for the Lord.
And, not just her. I saw many others walking in obedience, overcoming issues and fears, all through the grace of our Father.
But now, everything hurts. It hurts and I'm tired and there is noone here to play praise music for me. Now, I have to call on my Father's grace, not out of strength and excitement, but out of weakness and pain. Remembering that His grace is available is hard. Remembering that is is abundant seems impossible. Until...
Until in the still, small, fleeting moment, I reach outside of myself and feel His love surrounding me. Like running from lightpost to lightpost, I know my goal is to reach one of those moments and that the moment will sustain me until the next moment. And, as I reach each goal, I am able to trust that I will reach the next one. Yes, everything hurts but I know that soon it will not hurt. Soon, there will be a reprieve. Soon