Obedience

What an awful word-obedience. It means to do what you are told to do and very often you don’t want to do what you are told to do. Well, you may want to do what you are supposed to do but I rarely do. Most of the time if given a choice I would much rather do the disobedient thing at least in the moment when the decision needs to be made.

I remember one of my first run ins with this word. I was about 2. My mom was ironing something. She told me not to touch. I touched. I learned then that not obeying was a bad option. There were bunches of times after that when obeying one or the other or both of my parents was just more than I could bring myself to do. Almost every time, disobedience ended badly.

Then I grew up. I grew up and got married and realized that marriage involves this little concept called “submission”. As a wife, it is my duty to let my husband be the boss, except that, I’m not some weak willed, easy going woman. I’m accustomed to being in charge. I’m opinionated and quite certain that my opinions are the correct opinions. So, in obedience I learned to submit (okay past tense isn’t the most honest tense).

Then I lived a little longer. I started walking closer to my Jesus. My Jesus said “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62) That is where all the lessons learned before had to be applied. My hands were on the plow and for a minute there I almost looked back. I wanted to run my own way. I wanted to do just one more thing the way I wanted to but that still, small voice spoke into my hard headed ear. The voice said “what do you want more?” My soul screamed louder than my will. In that moment, I wanted Him more than anything else.

Obedience often brings tears to my eyes. They are tears of extreme pain and tears of joy. I think that soon I will be asked to be obedient again. My only hope and fervent prayer is that when asked, I will say “yes, my Lord.” I will say yes without hesitation and without looking back.

I watched one of the CMA videos yesterday and saw the pictures of men, women, and children face down in supplication, worship, and surrender before our awesome God. I remembered in that moment who we are. We are sons and daughters of the Most High God locked in a battle for the Kingdom. Our joy is complete and the battle is already won. We have only to obey the voice of our Father.