Babies at Christmas are such a blessing. Holding a baby while singing about Mary and Joseph makes the mystery of Jesus' birth all the more real. This year I'm holding a baby I had no warning I would hold. He dropped into our lives at the end of August. We're still fighting to normalize the new baby experience. Every night when he wakes up screaming and we fight through deep sleep to rescue him it feels like we are battling an alien. Then in the morning he crawls over to us, slapping his hands on the floor and laughing, we wonder how life went on without him. (Of course we are all sure it was much easier.)
I hold on to this baby boy like he is one of my own but he isn't. At any point, someone could come in and take him away. He has come into our lives, radically changing each of our routines and plans and we have no control over the situation. We bend to the requirements of this government agency and that biological parent. Then our 6 year old asks "Mommy, how long will we have him?" I have to answer "We will keep him as long as God lets us". That is the answer we all have to give any time we're asked how long.
What did a teenage girl know about "as long as God lets us"? She knows she didn't do anything to get into the position she's in. She knows God did this for his own reasons. Did she ever feel resentful as the church ladies sneered at her? Did she stomp her feet and rant about the unfairness of this? Was the visit from the angel enough to hold her through the long uncomfortable days of pregnancy?
As she cherished all the miracles surrounding the baby's birth, could she have had any clue what was about to happen? Did she forget the miracles in the daily grind of life? Did she rest in the assurance that her son would be the great king? Did she smile slyly thinking about how the ladies who sneered at her would be bowing down to the boy? Maybe she was better than that. Maybe she just smiled that serene smile you see on the icons without any negative thoughts. Maybe
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