I’m headed home today and I am so thankful. The last two weeks have been interesting but I miss my home and my family. I miss my routines even though they change each day. I miss my coffee talk. I miss the giggling of my girls. I miss the embrace of my husband.
Some of you out there have done this a million times. I’m going to write this and you’re going to sort of chuckle under your breath. You’re going to think I’m so far behind the learning curve. I’m almost afraid to write it.
I feel like I’ve been on a long mission trip. Until now I had never gone on a mission trip. God seems to be providing me opportunities to try out my faith in all sorts of new and inspiring ways.
This trip was to the nation’s capital. There is a strange sort of liberalism that flows through the streets here. All those concepts of nonsexist language, inclusion, and non-offensive world views are accepted as the norm. My evangelical world views are seen as extreme.
It has been interesting. I’m ready to go home though. I’m ready to quit being the most extreme person in the group.
It gets old to be in the mission field. It gets old to go out day after day aware that people are looking at you and deciding if they want what you have or if they would rather have what the younger, prettier girl beside you has to offer. Every day though, you keep going out. You go out that door and you smile. You engage them in conversation. They tell you the strangest things and you find yourself loving them. Suddenly, these strangers open up to you. The best thing happens after that. They decide they want some of what you have. You get to share!
Even though you go back to your room alone, you have this little glimmer of joy. The sweetest feeling wraps around you and you realize that the only choice you have is to continue. Every day has its own struggles. Every day has its own joy. It doesn’t matter how far you go from your “home”, your real home is wherever the Lord sends you.
I’ve got a few take aways from this experience. I just want to share them in case I go home:
1. As Christians we are blessed that we do not have to eat dessert first. One of my table mates here always ate his dessert first. He wanted to make sure he got the best thing in case he died and couldn’t enjoy it. Wow, think how lucky we are. It doesn’t matter if we get that treat here on earth or not. When we go home, we will have the most amazing experience-way better than hotel cheesecake!
2. Of all the miracles that have ever been performed, I think the most amazing one is the change in my “inner dialogue”. I was walking down the busy street in this strange city missing my family when I started listening to what I was thinking. I was thanking God for holding back the rain and telling him how confused I was about all these folks staring at me. Then I realized I had been smiling. The people were staring because I was one of the only people walking down the street smiling. (Anyway, I think that’s why they were staring. I checked my zipper. It was closed) The point is, I can remember when that inner dialogue would have been full of fear and anger and doubt instead of praise and smiles.
It has been a good trip.
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