Hannah's Story

Sleep was hard to find last night. Laying in bed for hours just thinking without getting anywhere. Hannah’s story filled my head for hours last night.
Hannah was a woman who was the favorite of her husband, Elkanah. I’m not sure how she could be his “favorite” if he chose to marry another woman too but we all make mistakes. Her sister wife, Peninnah (or Peni as I like to call her) had children. Hannah did not. Even though children were usually a sign of being well loved, Hannah had no children. Elkanah was a pious man. He took the family to the temple once a year. He even journeyed a bit further with two women and several children so that they could go to the temple where the Ark of the Covenant was kept.
Hannah would go and Elkanah would show her favor. I can just see how well this went over with Peni. Here is the childless woman receiving the best piece of cake and the nicest bed, while the mother of all the children had to have the left overs.
I imagine Hannah as that type of woman you see and think “nothing bad has ever happened to her.” She would be beautiful. Her kindness and faith would shine through making her seem even lovelier. But there, behind her eyes, you might catch a glimpse of the sadness. She wanted a baby to hold. Not a baby she had to borrow but her own baby, a sign of God’s favor and her husband’s love. You know Hannah had to think that everyone watching the family go down the street would think her husband didn’t like her. If he loved her, she would have all the children, not Peni. Peni would take advantage of the situation and ridicule Hannah. I imagine Peni, with her head held high calling her children to her in front of the other ladies at the temple. Peni would share stories of the kids while Hannah sat to the side with no stories to tell. Peni would throw barbed comments at Hannah and imply that Elkanah preferred her bed to Hannah’s.
So, year after year they go to the temple. The children of the other wife play and laugh while the “favorite” wife is barren month after month. One too many times Peni rubs her pregnant belly and makes a joke at Hannah’s expense. Finally, she can’t take it anymore. The teasing and ridicule and emptiness leave her desperate. I can just see her getting up from the meal, wrapping her shawl around her head to hide her tears. She walks quickly but purposefully into the chapel. She throws herself in a pile on the altar steps and starts to pray. She is so deep in prayer that Eli, the priest, can see her lips moving and her body swaying but can hear nothing.
Eli, looks at her and thinks she must be drunk. He would think that because he sees his sons abusing the altar every day. He sees people as awful. He is old and unhappy and feels a failure because his sons who should be so righteous are so awful. Of course he thinks this woman has to be drunk. He gathers his courage and all his righteous indignation. He marches up to her.
“Ma’am” he says. When she doesn’t respond, he repeats himself louder this time. He would touch her but she might be unclean and if she is he will have to purify himself.
She moves her shawl and looks up at him. Her eyes are red and her face wet with tears. Her mouth is contorted in that awful crying grimace.
He says “Get out of here you drunk”
She swallows and says “I’m not drunk. I’m pouring my heart out to God. He alone can help me. I have prayed and begged Him to give me child. I’ve even told Him, if only he will give me child I will bring the boy back here and devote him to the LORD’s service.”
Eli looks confused. Then the heart deeply buried within him, cracks. He looks at the woman with new eyes. He sees the sincerity. He tells her that God will honor her request. Maybe he hands her his handkerchief so she can wipe her face. She begins to smile. The priest has told her she will have a baby. The Lord has heard her.
I can see her running into her husband’s arms. Elkanah has been waiting for her to come back. He was worried when she left because he could feel her sorrow. He had heard Peni’s mean comments but he didn’t know how to help. When she comes back, he can see a difference in her face. She tells him what she has done and what Eli has said. He holds her. I wonder what he felt about her vow to give the baby back to God. He was the man so he had to agree to make the vow apply. He had the power to tell her no, to tell her that the vow could not be made. But he didn’t. He agreed to it.
The time came and she had the baby. She held him in her arms. I know she loved that baby more than words can say. He was her miracle. He was her proof that she was loved. I can see the little family surrounding little Samuel. I can see the sister wife sulking in the corner. And I can feel the sadness mixed with joy that Hannah must have felt.
She knew this baby was not hers to keep. She knew that when the baby was weaned, she would take him to the temple. The first year, she sent the rest of the family off without her and the boy. She cherished him for as long as she could. Then, when the time came to fulfill her vow, she did it.
Samuel would have been somewhere around two I guess, maybe three depending on the timing. He would be at that sweet age of pudgy little fingers and mischief. He would be running and laughing as they walked to the temple. He would be playing with his half brothers and sisters. But Hannah, she would be watching while her heart broke. There was no question in heart about what was to come but the pain would still be there. I wonder if maybe God was kind to her and maybe she was already pregnant with her next child. Not that one child can make up for another but palpable hope always helps. To make a vow like hers would require great faith.
I wonder if Peni was still making comments. She would be sitting with her friends over coffee and one would say “I heard Hannah was dedicating Samuel to God’s service”. “Well, of course she is,” Peni would smirk. “You know she had to beg God to give her that baby. She even had to beg Elkanah to sleep with her.” Peni would know it wasn’t true but it didn’t matter to her. She would be able to hear Elkanah and Hannah crying together as they prepared to leave this child. She would be able to see him comfort her. Always slightly on the outside, Peni’s pain would continue as she watched Hannah have more babies.
And then Hannah would walk with Samuel, her beloved child, to the old priest Eli. The boy would look at her with eyes wide. She would brush the little curl of brown hair to the side and she knelt down beside him, her eyes overflowing with tears. She would kiss his little lips and tell him “Mommy loves you. I’ll be here to see you every year. I’ll bring you your favorite baklava and a new robe so you’ll look just like the big priests. You be a good boy and serve the LORD with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. My beautiful boy.” Elkanah would pat his head and place his little hand in Eli’s old hand. He would take Hannah in his arms and walk her away from the place. The old priest would walk with the boy into the house. I think God would comfort Samuel. He would hold the little boy in his arms and keep him from fear.
When they got back to their tent, Elkanah and Hannah would go into a corner and hold each other and cry. Peni’s children would come to her and ask what is wrong. She would say that little Samuel is living in the temple. The little sisters and brothers would cry at this and even Peni would feel a tug of sadness. She loved that little boy too. You can’t live that close with someone and not love them a little. Elkanah would leave at some point to go work. Peni would come to Hannah and cry with her. Then, maybe, Peni would look at Hannah and Hannah would look at her. The two would get up together and start to make the food for the next day. Like sisters they would start to talk and maybe even laugh a little together. Then they would go back home and start life over again.
It would seem easy to cast each player in the story in a role of hero or villain. How could Peni tease Hannah? How could Elkanah run a house loving one wife more than the other? How could God require a woman to give up her son? People are not one sided and our God is not easily understood. Our God is holy. We are not. His ways are not our ways. We do know though that we are to love one another. This family went through a severe trial. Their trial set in motion an amazing string of events that impacted all of history. As a mom, I’m pretty sure there are moments when Hannah wanted to scream “I don’t care about history! I care only about my baby.” Thankfully, her faith was stronger than her need to understand. I think about this family late at night when sleep doesn’t come. I think about them and wonder how it felt to walk where they walked. Then I give thanks that I live in a time where there are hot showers and air conditioning.