Not Everyone Will Like Me

Not everyone is going to like you. Some folks are not going to like you. They just aren’t and really that is more about them than it is about you. We know this. We know that it doesn’t matter sometimes how hard you fight to love. Sometimes the other person’s heart is just…well, sometimes their heart is just hardened.

I think of Saul. Saul was king of Israel. He was the boss. When he spoke, the world trembled.  But he was unhappy and his heart was hurt. He ranted and raved and sulked. Somehow a young man became the focus of his madness. David, who sat for hours in Saul’s chambers playing music to calm the madness, was a frequent target of Saul’s spear. David showed time and time again that he held no ill will toward Saul but none of those examples of love were enough for Saul. Saul never did believe that David really really loved him.

Saul’s heart was hardened against David. That is just how it was.

Some time ago I adopted a way of being. This way of being said that if someone appeared not to like me or approve of me, I would try to love them even more. This is radically different from my normal way of responding. The normal me would run scared if someone didn’t like me. I’m not easy to like for some people. I’m a little colorful and passionate and distractible. I walk in the center of a tornado full of people and books and thoughts and rants and shoes that never find their way home.

But, I thought maybe, maybe if I can somehow show these people that I love them, maybe they will be compelled to at least respond to me. If I smile, most people will smile back at me. If I join them in laughter, most people will laugh with me. If I tell them all the wonderful things I’ve noticed about them, most people will see that I am truly in love with them.

Most people will open themselves and respond.

Not everyone though is going to like me. They won’t like me even if I pray for them day after day. They won’t like me even if I’ve seen so many beautiful pieces of their heart. They won’t like me even if I smile and laugh and play with them. Some people will not like me…and that is ok.

I am called to love like Jesus loved. Jesus loved those who despised him. Jesus loved those who ridiculed him. Jesus loved those who would not smile with him. Jesus loved those who thought him a fool.

I cannot love like that in myself. The only hope I have of coming close to that kind of love is to practice deliberate kindness through the power of the Spirit.  I will continue to smile at the ones who refuse to smile at me. I will continue to lift up in prayer those who hurt me. I will forget and mess up and say awful mean things and I will beg forgiveness and I will smile at the ones who refuse to smile at me.

And not everyone will like me and that is ok.