We were at the American Airlines center, Michael, the two oldest girls, one of their friends and me. We were waiting for the start of the concert. The center was filling up fast with the kids who represented our hope for the future.
She had on these green ballet shoes when she stood up to sing. At 19 you could see Jesus shining through her. My first reaction was to recoil. How could this girl sing to me about Jesus? What could she know about forgiveness? The hardness of my heart gave me pause. There was still jealousy there. After all these years that icky feeling of being judged and found wanting was still there. My teens and early 20s were anything but Jesus filled. The anger left over from earlier stuff blossomed into self-hate and depression during this time. I looked at that green shoe girl and could almost taste that bitterness.
Then, my daughter said something. I looked at her and her sister beside her. They are beautiful those two, each so different from the other and different from me at their age. I laughed at myself as I realized that the prayer I pray for them daily is to let them be like that green shoe girl. Let them grow in purity and love. Let them grow strong but not be bitter. Let them show Jesus in their thoughts and actions.
Then, I didn’t want to recoil from the girl. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to thank her for being a model for them.
Here's to the green shoe girls. May you stay strong and persevere. Know that your choices are influencing others. Your testimony is beautiful, full of light. Continue to live as you are.meant to live. I’m praying for you.
And for those of us who haven’t forgotten the sting of a misspent life, embrace the forgiveness that is given to you in Christ. We are free to walk in a new life. We are free to be the green shoe girls now.
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