Family

I’m having a strange experience here lately. I’m alone. To make it more interesting for me, not only am I alone but my technology access is limited. I’m usually ok with alone time but I’ve grown accustomed to the constant companionship of my family.
At one time, my family was small. When I married Michael, I gained his family too. Time has added members to our close knit band of redneck gypsies. That has been hard enough to come to understand and appreciate. God has added another layer to the family quilt. He has added our CMA family. This one took even longer to understand and appreciate. How could a group of people just swallow you up in love and acceptance? The answer there is Jesus (of course).
So, if for some reason I’m not with a member of the at home family, I’m almost always with a member of my CMA family. Except now.
Now I’m in Washington DC in a nice hotel room all alone. It’s quiet here. Since my technology access is limited, it’s really quiet. The majority of my time is spent in classes but the evenings are free.
Tonight I jumped in with a group of folks I have never met before yesterday. We went on an adventure in this great city. We rode the Metro and a trolley and a shuttle. We walked from the Smithsonian to the Lincoln Memorial. We saw the new Martin Luther King Jr memorial. We talked. I prayed. I wondered where the nagging fear that should be following us was.
A year or two ago I wouldn’t have been able to make that walk. The fear of…well, just about most things would have kept me firmly in my place. A year ago, I went to a taping of the Jesus film in the Marshallese Islander language and my life began a crazy twist. I saw this ordinary woman say “I said ‘God this is just another chance to trust you’.” I wanted nothing more than to be able to say that and mean it.
Michael and I were both making good money at that time. We had everything we wanted. The more I prayed to trust God as fully as that young woman, the more things got stripped away. I could recount the losses but the gains are so amazing that they don’t matter as much.
I am becoming more and more the person I am meant to be. I start conversations with strangers and care about their answers to my questions. I want nothing more than to be used of God. I rest in the full knowledge and belief that every day He is guiding me and using me. I know that this world is only a temporary work zone. I am daily greeted with reminders of His love. I am compelled to share this marvelous treasure with those I meet. I fall down and He helps me up. I succeed through His great mercy. Still I beg, Lord, use me. Lord, increase my faith until any doubt flees before it has time to take root. Lord, make me completely yours.