Stretching- pushing across and above and beyond. Stretching and begging for more room. When the time is accomplished, the pushing and stretching gives way to tearing, the tight cocoon walls tear and the first bit emerges. The first part of the butterfly to come out is covered in goo. It is slimy and fragile. It is far from beautiful.
I can almost hear it begging to break out. If butterflies speak to the Lord, I’m sure there is a time of desperation. A moment, or perhaps two for the more impatient, when the half formed creature screams out to its creator “Free me! I need to feel the air rolling off my wings.” A moment of fear that the current state is the permanent state, a moment when the stretching becomes almost panicked, or is there? If butterflies speak to the Lord, maybe they know that the time of transformation is required. Maybe they have a faith even clearer than that of child. Maybe they have laid down the need to know what happens next and simply trust that no matter how tight the chrysalis seems, there is freedom to be enjoyed- a freedom that transcends every circumstance-a freedom that sings of the Father’s love so loudly and surely that there is no reason for panic.
Butterflies seem so fragile. Their beauty is delicate. It cannot hold up for long or against difficult circumstances. At least that is how it seems at first. Then the slow realization dawns that these tiny creatures travel many, many miles each day. These tiny fragile creatures float on the wind. They soar and dip and dance on invisible air streams over amazing distances. There is nothing weak in their fragility.
Women appear fragile. We spend hours bending and stretching and begging for a different shape or a different look. As young teenagers we look at the other girls around us and wish we were them. As young mothers we look at the other mothers and wonder why our lives are so hard and theirs is so easy. Always, always we are comparing ourselves. We measure our success in terms of our relationships to others. We cry when we’re frustrated. We cry when our bodies refuse to be whatever it is we want right then. We cry and we appear fragile. We are not fragile.
We are the beloved creations of our Father. He has created each of us to be a wonderful person. He has given us our children because no one else will raise them the way we will. He has given us our trials because He knows how we will respond. He has chosen to give us a strength that mirrors that of the butterfly. The strength that appears weak but can do amazing things through Him.
He commands sometimes that we wait. He says “not yet”. For the more impatient of us, these times are more painful than the moment when the butterfly is breaking free. Our strength though lies in knowing that He will remove the walls. He will remove the walls, make us beautiful, and set us free. Free to fly on the wind, free to love, free to dance, free to worship our Lord and Savior who loved us enough to redeem us and remake us.
I love to watch the butterflies.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Time- for Amy
Some people have a love affair with clocks. My middle daughter is deeply in tune with the passage of time. She knows the minutes intimately. She feels the seconds moving and for her, I think, they move steadily.
Others may not feel the flow of time but they are keenly aware of tiny marks that indicate seconds. I have seen these people. They look at the clock and instead of seeing a clock they see a million tiny pieces. One glance and they can tell you all about the thing. They know what color it is. They know that second hand is slightly bent. I look at these people in a sort of puzzled awe.
I have looked at the clock in my kitchen a million times and I have no idea what color it is.
This is the beauty of my God. Not just that we are all created differently but that each tiny variation is valued and needed and on purpose. The word says “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” Oh praise Him that He has thought out each detail and not being content to just focus on the details, He has designed an intricate, dazzling universe. The same God that created each blade of grass set in motion the processes that allow the grass to grow. And, one day, He chose to create me. Then after (or before or during-His time is even trickier than mine) He created me, He placed me in this moment in time and space where a comment triggered a thought.
See, school is about to start. When school starts, stress runs high and things fall apart and in my job as principal I’m supposed to manage all the falling pieces while teaching, scheduling, tap dancing, and redirecting. Time runs from me as fast as a laughing toddler from his momma in Wal-mart. And, in my worst moments, I want to scream in exasperation as toddler time peeks around the corner of the aisle just out of reach and giggles.
Then, a teacher, gifted with an eye to details, tells me we need to recoup a minute. A minute, she says! A minute when all around us things are raining down, she cares about a minute! And then I realize the toddler, laughing just outside my reach, isn’t time. It’s God. God cares about every minute and every person. God has orchestrated this whole beautiful crazy world with its beautiful crazy people whom He absolutely adores for this one minute…and the next “one minute”…and the next “one minute”. He takes joy in our brief moments of understanding. The moment when we truly realize that we are His creation, that each of our flaws, imperfections, talents, and skills are all His to use for His kingdom.
Thank you Lord for those who are obedient to do your will even if your will is only that each minute be noticed and accounted for. Because Lord, in that act of obedience, another act of obedience is born and dear Lord, for you to allow such a person as me to be obedient to You is the greatest gift imaginable.
Others may not feel the flow of time but they are keenly aware of tiny marks that indicate seconds. I have seen these people. They look at the clock and instead of seeing a clock they see a million tiny pieces. One glance and they can tell you all about the thing. They know what color it is. They know that second hand is slightly bent. I look at these people in a sort of puzzled awe.
I have looked at the clock in my kitchen a million times and I have no idea what color it is.
This is the beauty of my God. Not just that we are all created differently but that each tiny variation is valued and needed and on purpose. The word says “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” Oh praise Him that He has thought out each detail and not being content to just focus on the details, He has designed an intricate, dazzling universe. The same God that created each blade of grass set in motion the processes that allow the grass to grow. And, one day, He chose to create me. Then after (or before or during-His time is even trickier than mine) He created me, He placed me in this moment in time and space where a comment triggered a thought.
See, school is about to start. When school starts, stress runs high and things fall apart and in my job as principal I’m supposed to manage all the falling pieces while teaching, scheduling, tap dancing, and redirecting. Time runs from me as fast as a laughing toddler from his momma in Wal-mart. And, in my worst moments, I want to scream in exasperation as toddler time peeks around the corner of the aisle just out of reach and giggles.
Then, a teacher, gifted with an eye to details, tells me we need to recoup a minute. A minute, she says! A minute when all around us things are raining down, she cares about a minute! And then I realize the toddler, laughing just outside my reach, isn’t time. It’s God. God cares about every minute and every person. God has orchestrated this whole beautiful crazy world with its beautiful crazy people whom He absolutely adores for this one minute…and the next “one minute”…and the next “one minute”. He takes joy in our brief moments of understanding. The moment when we truly realize that we are His creation, that each of our flaws, imperfections, talents, and skills are all His to use for His kingdom.
Thank you Lord for those who are obedient to do your will even if your will is only that each minute be noticed and accounted for. Because Lord, in that act of obedience, another act of obedience is born and dear Lord, for you to allow such a person as me to be obedient to You is the greatest gift imaginable.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Hot and Dry
3211 is hot and dry these days. As you round the curves you can see the heat waves rising from the asphalt that has bubbled up from between the tiny rocks that make up the road. The ac can’t keep up with the heat. It’s almost too hot to pray. Disquiet is settling in my heart as I drive by cattle trucks and see the boney hips and ribs. As removed as most of us are from agriculture, there is still something primal that screams danger when the food supply looks like something out of pharaoh’s dream.
The temptation is to try to do something to change the circumstances. In college, I studied about witchcraft in primitive cultures. The people with no power over their environment would resort to hidden ceremonies to influence spirits to help them. They constructed elaborate systems of taboos and good luck and spirit worship. Because they felt so powerless and so desperate to influence they would do terrible things to themselves and their children. Desperation breeds both evil and law.
We aren’t so different. As the drought continues we set up more and more restrictions. We can only water on certain days at certain times. Billboards scream out that wasting water equals wasting money. The tv news threatens rolling blackouts if we do not use our electricity wisely. All this and it’s almost too hot to reach out to the One who can change the environment.
I find myself returning again and again to the idea of freedom. For so many years, I was bound by fear and anger. Now, I can taste freedom. I drink it in from time to time, enjoying the freedom to dance and laugh and play. Except, sometimes, when I start to feel things slipping through my hands and I want to hold on to it. Those are the times when I want to start imposing rules on myself. The concept is tricky. Some things that might seem to be rules are more habits and some things that seem to be outward signs of my devotion are really rules. I can see the orthodox Jew wearing his prayer shawl and almost envy the sign of righteousness. Then I remember, we are called to be free. Because our Jesus sacrificed Himself for us, we are free to run into our Father’s arms as beloved children. This freedom is a most marvelous gift. We don’t need elaborate rituals. We just need our Father, His Son, and the Spirit. With God, all things are possible.
So, while the road boils and the cattle wither, I will remain free to love my God, free to rejoice in His goodness, knowing that in time the rain will come.
The temptation is to try to do something to change the circumstances. In college, I studied about witchcraft in primitive cultures. The people with no power over their environment would resort to hidden ceremonies to influence spirits to help them. They constructed elaborate systems of taboos and good luck and spirit worship. Because they felt so powerless and so desperate to influence they would do terrible things to themselves and their children. Desperation breeds both evil and law.
We aren’t so different. As the drought continues we set up more and more restrictions. We can only water on certain days at certain times. Billboards scream out that wasting water equals wasting money. The tv news threatens rolling blackouts if we do not use our electricity wisely. All this and it’s almost too hot to reach out to the One who can change the environment.
I find myself returning again and again to the idea of freedom. For so many years, I was bound by fear and anger. Now, I can taste freedom. I drink it in from time to time, enjoying the freedom to dance and laugh and play. Except, sometimes, when I start to feel things slipping through my hands and I want to hold on to it. Those are the times when I want to start imposing rules on myself. The concept is tricky. Some things that might seem to be rules are more habits and some things that seem to be outward signs of my devotion are really rules. I can see the orthodox Jew wearing his prayer shawl and almost envy the sign of righteousness. Then I remember, we are called to be free. Because our Jesus sacrificed Himself for us, we are free to run into our Father’s arms as beloved children. This freedom is a most marvelous gift. We don’t need elaborate rituals. We just need our Father, His Son, and the Spirit. With God, all things are possible.
So, while the road boils and the cattle wither, I will remain free to love my God, free to rejoice in His goodness, knowing that in time the rain will come.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Be Brave, Be Free, and Eat your Fruit
This is for you friend. You are there all the time. You sit in the middle, slightly to the left and if you can’t sit there you find a spot on the far right. You think you blend in. You think that you are just ordinary enough not stick out too much and just pretty enough to be noticed. You sit there and listen. You listen and you dream. Of course, your dreams aren’t very big dreams. You want to take care of your family. You want to do your job. You want to love and please your God. You are a good and strong woman, a woman of faith.
Do you realize that you are beloved? Do you know in the pit of your stomach that the God who created the universe calls you His precious daughter?
God loved you from the minute He made you. As He created your tender eyes, He knew the things you would see. When He formed your feet, with the slightly turned in toes, He smiled because He knew your foot prints would lead tiny foot prints across wet sand. He knew your feet would dance and run and jump and ache after days of work. He knew your temper would flare and cause you to have to turn to Him to be calmed. He knew every bad habit, every flawed thought, every secret shame. He knew all of it and He loves you.
He delights in you. He wants you to be brave. You are His daughter after all. Step out in faith that your Father is the biggest authority there is and He delights in you. You can speak the truth in love even when your heart is pounding in your throat because you are the daughter of the Most High God!
He delights in you. He begs you not to accept the yoke of slavery ever again. You are free. You can dance and laugh and love because you are not a servant. You are the beloved child!
He delights in you. He wants you taste the good things in life. He wants you to feel the joy of biting into the sweetest most fragrant fruit and know that He is good. He wants you to care for yourself so you can minister to those who depend on you. He wants you to be careful with that body He gave you. He wants you to know how beautiful you are.
He loves you so much!
Just remember that even when you mess up really, really badly that He really, really loves you. If you are ready to come back, His arms are open and He is waiting.
Do you realize that you are beloved? Do you know in the pit of your stomach that the God who created the universe calls you His precious daughter?
God loved you from the minute He made you. As He created your tender eyes, He knew the things you would see. When He formed your feet, with the slightly turned in toes, He smiled because He knew your foot prints would lead tiny foot prints across wet sand. He knew your feet would dance and run and jump and ache after days of work. He knew your temper would flare and cause you to have to turn to Him to be calmed. He knew every bad habit, every flawed thought, every secret shame. He knew all of it and He loves you.
He delights in you. He wants you to be brave. You are His daughter after all. Step out in faith that your Father is the biggest authority there is and He delights in you. You can speak the truth in love even when your heart is pounding in your throat because you are the daughter of the Most High God!
He delights in you. He begs you not to accept the yoke of slavery ever again. You are free. You can dance and laugh and love because you are not a servant. You are the beloved child!
He delights in you. He wants you taste the good things in life. He wants you to feel the joy of biting into the sweetest most fragrant fruit and know that He is good. He wants you to care for yourself so you can minister to those who depend on you. He wants you to be careful with that body He gave you. He wants you to know how beautiful you are.
He loves you so much!
Just remember that even when you mess up really, really badly that He really, really loves you. If you are ready to come back, His arms are open and He is waiting.